last words

it hurts,
the pain,
it's always there
always feeding off me

i don't know how much longer i can go on
i want to succumb to the pain
give in and let the knife slip

but i don't want it to end that way
it won't make the pain go away
because it isn't physical
it can't be treated or analyzed

it's deep inside me
feeding, growing...

so much pain

i'm scared and running out of options
i've been fighting for an end past due
always an uphill battle
with ice beneath my feet

i awake in the morning
knees aching, stomach growling
maybe more sorrow
maybe another chance but i know...

time passes and the pain subsides
the dark clouds stay
but my thoughts remain clear
time to focus
time to think
and yet, i know...

i know it's going to come back
it never left
it just sits there
waiting, waiting,

give in and let the knife slip

make the dark voices stop
remove my ears
and fold my tongue
just make it stop...
please

parents promised help
a comfy couch with someone to talk to
someone to finally listen
to the many things i have to say

and i want to make it work
i tried,
i tried so hard

but he just sits there
taking damn notes
and sipping his coffee

no one to listen
no one to care
it has something to feed of off
it's done waiting...

i'm done trying

cori graham